Here's something extremely satisfying: When you're driving, and a truck visciously cuts you off, causing you to slam on your breaks and choke yourself on your own seatbelt... notice the tuck. Notice that it's from "Elite Granite and Mabrle" and then take out your cell phone and give "Elite Granite and Marble" a call. Let them know their drivers are acting like jerks on the road and giving their company a bad name. Sit back and savor the sweet sweet revenge.
--opus
posted by opus at
1:44 PM
posted by opus at
9:21 AM
I am posting from my cell phone. In my car. In traffic.
I'm so BAD.
O, calm down, people. I'm not endangering anybody. Traffic is stopped - I couldn't hurt a snail without moving.
Now somebody get me out of here.
posted by opus at
6:56 PM
Completely Made-Up Old Saying Of The Day
"Loan" turns to "own" once your friend get the "L" out out of there.
posted by opus at
9:04 PM
Somebody sent me an email saying my Amazon Wish List wasn't working. Well, here it is.
Now buy me bunches of stuff. It's the American Way!
--opus
posted by opus at
4:32 PM
I heard today on the radio that there will be 14,000 police deployed in London to help stem the tide of protestors. fourteen Thousand ... and those are just the cops. Or, as they say, "Bobbies.". Of course, the US has shut down huge parts of London for "safety reasons" meaning that the protestors may never get near Bush himself. Lord knows, Bush and Blair wouldn't want to be troubled by hearing the will of the people or any such bothersome nonsense.
I have also heard that Blair agreed to give his support for the Iraq war because Bush agreed to help him push a Palestinian State. And now Bush has pretty much screwed Peace in the Middle East up (and how? He had a roadmap, after all) so I'd be interested to hear if Blair can get past that infamous British politeness and really chew Bush out. After all, Blair's political career is pretty much over thanks to Bush. He can't be too happy.
Oh, crap... have I become one of those jerks who espouses his own narrow political viewpoint on his blog and expects everybody to care? Damn... I'm sorry. Here, have a catalog of funny comic strip exclamations like "oomph!" and "Aarrrgh!' and forget I ever said anything.
In particular, forget I ever said "ooomph!" and "Aarrrgh!"
--opus
posted by opus at
11:19 AM
Have you ever gone to type something, and your fingers land on the wrong keys, and for a minute you think, "Wow... I'm typing in Swedish!"
Hsbr upi rbrt hpmr yp yu[r dp,ryjomh smf upit gomhrt ;smf pm yjr etpmh lrud. smf gpt s ,omiyr. upi yjoml. "
Wpe... z''o yu[omh om zsewfodj!"
posted by opus at
11:14 AM
Rise of the Machines
It's a rough day to be somebody with a clue. The one-two punch of dunderheads in positions of power has left me dizzy. Today Rush Limbaugh returns from drug rehab to take back his radio show, and apparently, he's as much of a jerk as ever. And of course, Ah-nahld is taking over the state of California.
The Rush thing so drips with hipocrasy, it's so soaked in its own self-delusion, that it's almost hard to even make fun of it. I mean, this is a guy who kept calling for tough penalties on people who abused drugs. And now, of course, that he's the one who's in the hot seat... it's all different. In my experience, conservatives mock liberals for being "bleeding hearts," but then turn around and expect compassion when it happens to one of their own. Look at Jeb Bush's daughter down in Florida, for example.
And Arnold. Poor poor California. I honestly can't understand how he got into office. I understand people were fed up with Davis, fine. But that doesn't mean you take any schmoe who comes down the pike. In my mind, I kept lumping Arnold with Gary Coleman, both of them actors who were making a jokey little play at office. I couldn't see how either were that different - neither had any experience, neither have been particularly successfull at acting lately, neither had any real right to be in office. One of them is. If any of you voted for Arnold, please, explain to me why. I honestly can't comprehend it. I promise not to be condescending, just explain exactly what it was that made you punch his chad.
I'd like to give him a congratulatory grope.
opus
posted by opus at
11:32 AM
Dirty Images created entirely using mathematical algorithms. Ooh, baby, yeah, square that root....
posted by opus at
11:16 AM
Presidential Name Game
Why is it so many of the democratic cantidates have two first names?
Howard Dean
John Edwards
Wesley Clark
John Kerry
Bob Graham
Dennis Kucinich
This is something every Tom, Dick and Kucinich has to really worry about.
--opus
posted by opus at
11:35 AM
09/21/2003 - 09/27/2003 09/28/2003 - 10/04/2003 10/05/2003 - 10/11/2003 10/12/2003 - 10/18/2003 10/19/2003 - 10/25/2003 10/26/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/02/2003 - 11/08/2003 11/09/2003 - 11/15/2003 11/16/2003 - 11/22/2003 11/23/2003 - 11/29/2003 11/30/2003 - 12/06/2003 12/07/2003 - 12/13/2003 12/14/2003 - 12/20/2003 12/21/2003 - 12/27/2003 12/28/2003 - 01/03/2004 01/04/2004 - 01/10/2004 01/11/2004 - 01/17/2004 01/18/2004 - 01/24/2004 01/25/2004 - 01/31/2004 02/01/2004 - 02/07/2004 02/08/2004 - 02/14/2004 02/15/2004 - 02/21/2004 02/22/2004 - 02/28/2004 02/29/2004 - 03/06/2004 03/07/2004 - 03/13/2004 03/14/2004 - 03/20/2004 03/21/2004 - 03/27/2004 03/28/2004 - 04/03/2004 04/04/2004 - 04/10/2004 04/11/2004 - 04/17/2004 04/25/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/02/2004 - 05/08/2004 05/09/2004 - 05/15/2004 05/23/2004 - 05/29/2004 05/30/2004 - 06/05/2004 06/06/2004 - 06/12/2004 06/13/2004 - 06/19/2004 06/20/2004 - 06/26/2004 06/27/2004 - 07/03/2004 07/04/2004 - 07/10/2004 07/11/2004 - 07/17/2004 07/25/2004 - 07/31/2004 08/01/2004 - 08/07/2004 08/08/2004 - 08/14/2004 08/15/2004 - 08/21/2004 08/22/2004 - 08/28/2004 08/29/2004 - 09/04/2004 09/12/2004 - 09/18/2004 09/19/2004 - 09/25/2004 09/26/2004 - 10/02/2004 10/03/2004 - 10/09/2004 10/10/2004 - 10/16/2004 10/17/2004 - 10/23/2004 10/24/2004 - 10/30/2004 10/31/2004 - 11/06/2004 11/07/2004 - 11/13/2004 11/14/2004 - 11/20/2004 11/21/2004 - 11/27/2004 12/05/2004 - 12/11/2004 12/19/2004 - 12/25/2004 01/09/2005 - 01/15/2005 01/30/2005 - 02/05/2005 02/06/2005 - 02/12/2005 02/13/2005 - 02/19/2005 02/20/2005 - 02/26/2005 02/27/2005 - 03/05/2005 03/06/2005 - 03/12/2005 03/13/2005 - 03/19/2005 03/20/2005 - 03/26/2005 04/03/2005 - 04/09/2005
