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Sunday, May 23, 2004

Tim Allen Is Sorta A Jerk

My roommates, Liz and Josh, are getting married. This won't happen for over a year, so for right now I'm only a minor annoyance to their love, as opposed to the massive domestic problem I'll be when I won't stop crashing at their new homestead. But the two lovebirds decided to throw an engagement party this weekend

They got plenty of alchohol and snacks, and even got treats for the partygoers: candy necklaces for the girls, and gum-filled Hulk wristwatches for the boys. Good people came, fun was had, it was a hoot all in all. Except... one thing.

Somehow, Liz knows a young lady who happens to be dating "actor" and "comedian" Tim Allen. So suddenly the star of the stunningly unfunny "Home Improvement" was sitting on my couch. I'm not one to judge somebody solely on their comedic output; after all, I appeared on Kilborn. But the guy didn't seem too interested in mingling or being social.

Finally, he grabbed one of those gum-filled Hulk watches and tried to strap it on. But of course, the gum-filled Hulk wristwatch market is geared towards 8 year olds, and didn't fit on any adult's wrist. The following exchange followed:

Tim Allen: This won't fit on my wrist! Maybe I'll just strap it on my penis!
Me: Hey... maybe it'll fit on your penis.

Laughter followed. Tim Allen, I thought... not such a bad guy after all. He laughed at my meager little joke. Good people. Then, literally a minute later, I hear Tim Allen talking to some other dude.

Some Other Guy: This watch won't fit on my wrist, I may as well strap it on my penis!
Tim Allen: Hey... maybe it'll fit on your penis.

Hey! Wait a minute, Tim Allen! That's my joke! It wasn't much of a joke, but come on! You can't just steal it, and say it right in front of me! That's breaking all sorts of laws of comedy ethics!

I watched him, in shock, expecting him to acknowledge me. To say, "Oh, that's his joke" or even if just by throwing a wink my way. Nothing. Tim Allen ripped off my joke, right in front of me. I was standing less than 10 feet away... there's no way I couldn't have heard. Does that man have no pride?

Then I remembered "Joe Somebody" and I remembered... no. He has no pride.

Lesson Learned; Tim Allen is sort of a jerk.

--opus

posted by opus  at 10:57 PM

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