Only in Hollywood will you find yourself muttering to yourself as your search for parking, "That damn stretch limo is taking up two spots."
--opus
posted by opus at
3:38 PM
Two things about baja fresh
1. On the menu board, they list the lo-cal and lo-carb options under the large title Lifestyle Choices. Lifestyle choices? Yeah I'll have the burrito ultimo with a side order of pre-op transexual, please.
2. The guy who played Long Duck Dong in 16 Candles is here. He got the enchiladas.
--opus
posted by opus at
3:05 PM
My favorite new blog is the smartly written and researched and stupidly named DonkeyRising. Makes me feel like the situation in this country isn't in an dire unreversible death spiral - for a moment at least.
--opus
posted by opus at
10:30 AM
Drivers Stupid
If you were driving down Santa Monica Blvd during the morning rush hour, it would be a really stupid thing for you to have two cars, side by side, and have a guy with a video camera hanging out of one car, taping a guy in the second car. Also, going 20 miles per hour and holding up both lanes of traffic would also suck.
I wish this were a purely hypothetical situation. But it was my morning commute.
--opus
posted by opus at
2:22 PM
Last night I was watching television and I heard a NASA scientists describe the dry lake bed landing site of the Mars Rover as "crater the size of Connecticut."
I said aloud "Hell, I've been to a vast empty crater the size of Connecticut. It was called Connecticut."
Then I noticed I was alone. Why must my wittiness go unappreciated?
--opus
posted by opus at
3:00 PM
A fantastic panoradmic interactive quicktime vr thingy ofthe surface of Mars. Bush is now investigating it for Weapons of Mass Destruction.
--Opus
posted by opus at
10:07 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Okay, deep breathh. In an art... ha ha ha ha ha. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, jesus. It's just too funny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
In an article in the... ha ha ha...okay, sorry. In an article in the New York Daily News George Bush is quoted as saying... hahahahahahaha
Okay. He's quoted as saying: " 'No President has ever done more for human rights than I have."
Ha ha ha ha ha oh, God, that's rich.
--opus
posted by opus at
3:47 PM
Hillarious, unintended humor at the Amazon.com Moe's Tavern Set Page contained in the reviews. Angry, angry parents upset that this toy depicts a bar (gasp!) where people drink alchohol (shocker!) and get drunk (oh no!). Nevermind that it's not really ever meant for kids...
--opus
posted by opus at
2:53 PM
Popular imaging program Adope Photoshop has admitted to putting anti-counterfeit programming into its latest release. What does this mean? It means when you scan a twenty dollar billl, it won't let you use it. At all.
This to me is just silly. Why can't I use my money my way? And besides, the act of scanning money isn't illegal. It's not even illegal to PRINT it again, as long as it's only one-sided, and less thatn 75% or greater than 150% of original size. But if I want to scan in an draw a moustache on Ben Franklin, I'm outta luck.
What's next? A no-boobies feature to prevent pornography? An anti-Bush feature so we can no longer mock the president in doctored photos?
Hell, i wouldn't be suprised if some XXXXXXX blogging program started XXXXXX control over XXXX what I XXXXXX in my XXXXXX.
--opus
posted by opus at
12:32 PM
Best Instant Message Spam Ever
I got this instant message today:
hi my name is Elizabeth. I have no face, died in a fire 3 years ago. The person who writting this is possesed. Im sorry but if you don't send this to 10 people I will come in your room tonight and stare at you, will look like a three year old girl with red hair. I will do this every night. You have 7 minutes.
So, just a warning, if you come over my house, expect to see a little girl with no face and red hair staring at me. Apparently, she won't do anything, just stare. I may use her as a coatrack. Or I could teach her some secret signals to help me cheat at poker. Or she could teach me how she got so good at typing at only three years old, and I could teach her some basic rules of grammar.
Oh, Elizabeth the no-faced three year old read-headed ghost child, we're going to be best friends!
--opus
posted by opus at
6:11 PM
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