I Am Cranky
I awoke this morning, and there wasn't the foreboding sense of dread one associates with a bad day. That's the first problem. If I'm gonna have a bad day, at least give me a few signs. Let me work up to it slowly. Start with thunderous overcast clouds; that's always a good method of forshadowing. Worked for Poe.
Anyways, I make my way to my car and notice that my air freshener is on my passenger seat. And my glove compartment is open. And... wait a minute. My car has been broken into! By what appears to be... a car rummager! A rummager of cars! This person rummaged through my stuff, decided he didn't want the kite I keep in the backseat or the case of iced tea that I keep forgetting to take in. In fact, all that seemed to be missing was my change from my dashboard. But damn it! It's my car! It was rummaged!
So I'm cranky, but I drive to work, cursing the evil Car Rummager. Traffic is beyond atrocious. It's horrible. Soon I find out why - they're gearing up for the Golden Globes at the Beverly Hilton. There are television trucks and production vans parked in the street. Trucks! In the street! That's MY street! I need it! For driving!
I finally get to work, I pull into the garage... and reach up to click the clicker to get in. Of course. DAMN YOU CAR RUMMAGER! He stole my clicker! What the hell does this guy need my clicker for? Does the Car Rummager just like things that click? Stupid Car Rummager.
It's Friday, which means it's street-cleaning day. So of course one half of all the parking spots are off-limits. So I drive around for a good ten minutes before I finally find an open meter. I pull in, I reach up for some change... and... DAMN YOU CAR RUMMAGER! It's like this guy just PLANNED to make my parking situation difficult. He stole all my change.
So I head off to 7-11, get a "S'mores Hot Chocolate" to get some change, and finally head into work, a good half hour late. And tomorrow morning, expect me up at 7:00 on a saturday to drive my car into the shop.
In summary, I would just like to reiterate: DAMN YOU CAR RUMMAGER!
Thank you and good day.
--opus
posted by opus at
9:56 AM
I forgot Wesley Clark in my rundown of The Democratic Candidates and their Cartoon Equivalents so now he's included. I hope you guys aren't too young to know what Jonny Quest is.
--opus
posted by opus at
10:29 AM
New Writing Comedy Political Satire Thingy.
The Democratic Candidates And Their Cartoon Equivalents.
Go! Click now! For serious! Love it! Hate it! Send me hate mail! Send me love mail!
--opus
posted by opus at
10:07 PM
Weird online kaleidoscope on a site full of weird online fun. While away an afternoon that should be spent working!
--opus
posted by opus at
11:55 AM
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