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Monday, February 28, 2005

Scam The Man, Part I 

Escalator Shot Two
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
I just moved to a new apartment in Silverlake, one of the selling points of which is its proximity to the embryonic Los Angeles subway system. Being an east-coast boy at heart, the idea of traveling in a urine-smelling tin box hurtling underground at breakneak speeds appeals a great deal to me, so last night I went to give it my innaugural run.

The subway runs on a rediculous "honor system" in which you buy a tickt at a vending machine and then just stroll on the train. There are no ticket booths or security guards, you just have to triple-promise you'll pay.

Well I did my darndest. Three different machines, three different five-dollar bills - all of them summarily spit out. After a few minutes of attempting I said to myself "Screw this, I'm just getting on the train. Nobody will know."

Of course, getting off of the train, I was filled with dread. In front of me were a dozen different metro cops. They were going through the cars of the subway and stopping everybody exiting, making sure they all had tickets. Even the honor system needs some billy-clubs to back it up.

So I positioned myself behind a couple of goth kids going out on the town, kept my earphones in my ears and my eyes forward. I moved ahead, past the cops, and as they were distracted by Captain White Powder Makeup and his sidekick Incredibly Poor Black Hair Dye Job Girl, I walked right out. Free! I had scammed the man and gotten away with it! It must be what a bank robber feels, only in my case I only really got away with a buck twenty-five worth of free train ride. But still.

Coming soon, part two - my tale of low-stakes scamming continues as I get a little peice of Oscar for my own.


posted by opus  at 12:02 PM


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