Comments: Post a Comment

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Scam The Man Part II 

super sized shwag bag
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
Emboldened by my experience on the subway (see below) and a few post-show drinks at the Improv Olympic I moved on to bigger, better prey.

It was Oscar night, and hollywood alive with people, buzzing from party to party like tuxedo-clad hummingbirds. One small party was being held right down the way from the Improv Olympic, at a club called Cinespace. It was for the Oscar-nominated documentary "Super Size Me"

As people left the party they'd walk up to a dude standing near a car that was stuffed with bags. Smarmy producer-types and their botoxed arm candy were walking up to the guy and getting these bags that said "Super Sized Shwag Bag" on the side.

I cursed the fact that for the first time in several weeks I wasn't wearing my normal necktie. I had on a nice sweater and button-down shirt, though, so I handed my less-nice Worldwide Pants letterjacket to a friend and strolled right up.

I held out my hand with a bored, disaffected look on my face. The guy eyed me for a moment. "Did you come from in there?" he asked. "Oh, yeah" I said, as if it were a rediculous question. He handed me the bag.

As we walked away I tallied my goodies. Here's what the bag contained:

- A Nike AM/FM Radio
- An Independence Air Model Plane
- One 16.9 oz bottle of Penta H20 Ultra Premium Purified Drinking Water
- A Gift Certificate for one year's membership to Bally's Total Fitness
- A Gift Certificate for one round-trip ticket on Independence Air
- 12 coupons each for one carton of Dreyer's Slow Churned Light Ice Cream
- One large Newcastle beer (given to my friend Jason who likes beer)
- One set of Bath Beads (given to my friend Tiffany who likes baths)
- One keychain that reads "My Big Fat Independent Movie"
- One sticker that reads "I am not normal"
- One Emergen-C Cold & Flu Season Booster Pack
- One bottle of Everglo liquor (vodka, tequila, ginsing and caffeine)
- An X-Men Legends Playstation 2 game
- A DVD of "Red"
- A DVD of "This Girl's Life"
- A DVD of "Faith Rewarded: The Historic Season of the 2004 Boston Red Sox"
- A DVD of "The Ultimate Truth"
- A DVD of "Super Size Me"

I have scammed the man and now I shall enjoy my booty. No, not that kind of booty. Pervert.


posted by opus  at 1:27 PM


September 2003   October 2003   November 2003   December 2003   January 2004   February 2004   March 2004   April 2004   May 2004   June 2004   July 2004   August 2004   September 2004   October 2004   November 2004   December 2004   January 2005   February 2005   March 2005   April 2005  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?