Friday, April 08, 2005

Wrong Number 


telephone junkyard 2
Originally uploaded by Sneaky G.
Actual Transcript:

(Phone rings)
ME: Hello?
GUY: Is Rachel there?
ME: I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number.
GUY: Oh. Well, let's get rid of the Governor.
ME: What?
GUY: Let's get rid of the Governor.
ME: Um...
GUY: See, that makes those wrong numbers a lot more interesting, huh?
ME: It sure makes them more confusing.
GUY: Let's get rid of the son of a bitch in the white house, too. Bye!
(Hangs up).

posted by opus  at 1:22 PM

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I Am Not On TV 


Me plus me = us
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
Hello my friends.

I would like to clear something up. Apparently there is somebody who looks an awful lot like me hawking chicken sandwiches on a Wendy's commercial. Several people have congratulated me on my commercial, which wouldn't be so bad if I actually were in a commercial.

If I were in a Wendy's commercial I would be wolfing down sandwich after sandwich, in the sort of fast-food-induced haze that Dave Thomas spent 30 years in, bathing in an Uncle Scrooge-like pile of money while getting massages by swedish supermodels.

As is, I am not on a commercial, or even currently employed, so my daze comes only from a lack of nutrition, I bathe not in money but in my own filth, and the massages come from the buzzards who land on my body from time to time to see if have perished.

Okay, it's not that bad, but, seriously, I'm not in a Wendy's Commercial.

--opus

posted by opus  at 4:53 PM

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