It's sort funny that just a few days ago, I was talking trash about MTV, specifically, their show Yomomma, which shares its name with my website. A few days later, I got the call to write for a different show (one loosely based on the concept of humiliation, schadenfreude, and the lowest common denomenator). Now I know for sure that MTV is a wonderful place to be, and that its dark looming corporate overlord Viacom only wants what's best for the citizens of the world. And what's best is that we obey. Blindly and thankfully obey.
On my first day of employment at the MTV headquarters jauntily named "The Loft", i went to get my badge. Because nothing says youthful rebellion like RIFD-enabled door locks!
The badge-giving man seemed to be in a surly mood, not at all helped by my companio's "We don't need no stinkin' badges" joke, which he has probably heard 12,000 times. So I tried to cheer up Badge-Man with some of my patented friendly banter. It was, I must say, like trading quips with a slab of sheetrock.
When it came time for me to take my photo, I posed for the photo with a big grin and a double thumbs-up. The Badgeman lowered the camera and sighed "You can't do that." I said "I can't make a thumbs-up? Okay." and I made a pouty face. Badgeman said "You can't do that either."
Apparently there is a strict code of facial expressions and gestures allowed and not allowed in your MTV logo. I settled for the boring old smile, but if you look closely, you can see a tear coming from the corner of my eye. Kurt Loder must be spinning in his grave.
--opus
posted by opus at
5:00 PM
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