My time at MTV, regrettably, has come to an end.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn't find anybody to unload this domain name off onto. So comments still pour in from those imaginative teens who come to the site after seeing the masterpiece that shares the same name and is hosted by "that guy from that show".
Here, however, are a few choice comments that have been left. who the heck are you and why is your website named yomomma!????!! email me back telling me cuz i really wanna no!!!
Please note: This person did not leave their email.hey this is melissa johnson sayin yo momma jokes 247 and if you dont think i can represent my hood holla at me at 228***2120. that is biloxi mississippi and i will come all the way up there to represent any hood cuz i am off da chain and i will knock ya down plus i need 1000 cash money $$$$.
melissa.johnson
Apparently, Melissa couldn't tell that this site has nothing to do with the TV show, and that I am not, in fact, Wilmer Valderramanama. I took out her number because I'm kind. I am not sending her 1000 cash money. i think you should play that show 24/7 cause the way the people crack on each i will baet all they ass so how do i get on your show.
from:zhane/sexy diva who loves to suck dick.
Yes, that's right. I just got propositioned by somebody who wants to be on the TV show "Yo Momma".You are hot.
Matt
Thanks, Matt.Oh yeah, just to let you know I am a homosexual.
Matt
I gathered as much, Matt. Thank you.This stuff **BREAKS** my 2 cute 4 u beautiful heart.
Thanks?
Keep 'em coming, MTV generation. You make me want to be a cranky, cardigan-wearing, child-shooing, good-old-days-remembering old man long before my time.
--opus
posted by opus at
11:28 PM
I now work at MTV, a cable channel allegedly devoted to music television, but more accurately devoted to reality dating shows. I was shocked when I first came into the office to discover the alleged art on the walls consisted of photographs of musicians mounted on what appeared to be some sort of industrial metal grating. 
Obviously somebody had simply combed through the archive of photos from past Video Music Awards and just picked some celebrities willy-nilly. They seemed rather random: Sure, Mick Jagger obviously belongs there, and I can even understand why they might pick somebody like Gwen Stefani. But The Guy From Sugar Ray? Billy Idol? And that's not counting several people I couldn't even recognize. One of them was wearing a cowboy hat. 
So I figured if the bar was so low, I might just cut in on the action. I noticed a blank space in one of the peices and realized my destiny was to hang on MTV's walls. 
I found a photo of myself singing Karaoke (in a smoking jacket, no less), fiddled with the color balance a bit, and sprayglued the result onto a peice of matching black posterboard. Now the most difficult part: I had to get to work early to stick it on the wall. Was this really worth it? 
You tell me. It's been two weeks now, and nobody's noticed that Alanis Morisette, George Clinton, and Johnny Rotten have a new rock star buddy hanging out with them. Now, when do I get my MTV Music Award?
posted by opus at
5:38 PM
I was driving along Santa Monica Blvd the other day. Stopped at a stoplight, I noticed a muscular white guy in a tank top holding up a sign that said "Support Arnold! Close Our Borders!"
He noticed me looking, and, I'm assuming because I was one of the few white guys around, made eye contact and started waving the sign even more fervently and making little "Honk-your-horn!" motions.
Now, I can't say I agree with his sign. Firstly, there's the inherant irony of both supporting a governor who is a foreigner and also closing the borders. Secondly, I think our economy would completely collapse without illegal labor. My main concern is making sure those people who work here illegally aren't treated unfairly.
But, since I couldn't say all this from inside of my car, I simply looked at the guy and gave him a big Thumbs-down.
Anger filled his eyes, he grabbed a bullhorn hanging around his neck and yelled "TRAITOR!" at me.
I was happy the light turned green and I drove awawy from the scary white guy.
--opus
posted by opus at
1:03 PM
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