Opus: Welcome,
Mr. Franklin, it's a pleasure to have you with us.
Ben Franklin:
Well, thank thee for having me here.
Opus: Yeah.
So are you feeling "dope" today?
Ben: I do
not understand thinge manner of speech, my lad.
Opus: I bet
you don't.
Ben: (Silence)
Opus: (Silence)
Ben: (Angry
Silence)
Opus: (Angrier
Silence)
Ben: Well,
aren't you going to aske me any questions?
Opus: Fine.
So, Ben, they say you invented the bifocals.
Ben: Aye,
among my many acheivments is that one.
Opus: Did
you also invent the phrase "You wouldn't hit a man with glasses?"
Ben: I do
not know of what you speake.
Opus: (punches
Ben Franklin)
Ben: Aye,
and that does hurte.
Opus: Whatever.
Now, Ben, what was up with that whole kite thing?
Ben: I did
experiement with the nature of electricity, and in doing so discovered
its very essence.
Opus: Yeah,
whatever. So are you related at all to the character "Franklin" in the
Peanuts strips? I mean, what was up with him, did charles schultz decide
to stick him in to have a token black guy or what? And he always did
that stupid shoulder-shrugging dance at the parties, in the background...
Ben: (Puzzled
Silence)
Opus: I think
we're skirting around the issue here.
Ben: Aye.
Opus: The
issue is this: How can I be interviewing you when you died in 1790?
Ben: Ah...
Opus: Answer
that, Mr. Postmaster General Smartypants.
Ben: Well,
I never really died. It twas a misprinte.
Opus: Over
20,000 people attended your funeral.
Ben: Now
you're reading from an encyclopedia, that's just not faire!
