Three Encounters With Rap Superstars

In my career as an intern and low-level paid employee of various late night talk shows, I have had the opportunity to meet and chat with many celebrities. For some reason, I get along best with rappers. Here are three encounters:

Master P

Master P, being one of the richest men in the world, was suitably surrounded by quite an entourage. Several large men, each looking like several large men wrapped into one, scoped out the lobby before he came in. Then, after quite some wait, Master P arrived.

"Don't we have some sort of escort upstairs?" He asked one of his men, obviously concerned for his safety.

"That's me!" I said, cheerily. "You're safe with me, don't worry. I'm the best money can't buy."

They laughed. A tall, gawky white boy, I could easily be beat up by a passing gnat, if said gnat was a Master P fan. Some member of the entrouage asked if I was an intern.

"Yup," I said, "I get no money at all."

"Yeah, but when it's over, you get a job." said the wise Master P.

"If I'm lucky," I replied. "If not, do you think I could 'roll' with your posse?"

Master P laughed, and said, "Man, you a trip." I never received a definative answer, and to this day, remain poised and ready to roll.

LL Cool J

LL was gregarious, kind, and very large. He settled a bet between myself and my friend Joey DeFeo - in his rap song "Deepest, Bluest", it is his hat that's like a shark's fin. Not his hand. C'mon, Joey. His hand would have sounded stupid.

At one point, he turned to me and said "Opus, we need to get a rap name for you."

"Ok, LL Cool J," I said, using his full name because it's much more fun and I didn't know how he tooked to being called "Mr. J".

"From now on, you're Young Ope."

True to his word, he called me "Young Ope" the rest of the time. And when we left he said "I expect to see the Young Ope Show on TV any day now, okay?"

Sure this, LL Cool J. I'm working on it.

Snoop Dogg

Snoop complimented me on my matching tie and suspenders. He told me I had my own image, and it was tight.

I tried to engage him further in conversation, but it was abundantly clear that he was very, very stoned.